A lot has happened.

The day after my last post, my dad passed away. Last weekend was the funeral, and this week we start dealing with all the legal stuff.

In the week that I had to figure stuff out I got so far behind, I don't even know how I'll catch up. And yet I'm on here writing this, I guess just to vent. For awhile I felt like this changed my work for good. I couldn't touch charcoal or pencils for a few days, I couldn't listen to music, or watch movies. I'm still having trouble sleeping.

I just feel kind of spent. I don't mind working my "for money" job because it's mindless and I can keep busy.. but painting just feels like torture. My body is painting, not my mind, so my work feels stagnant and I'm stagnant because I'm obviously thinking of other things.

And I miss him. That's the worst part. There was still music and movies to share. And another day comes just like another day comes, and now it's two weeks ago.

I go to class, I go to work, I paint/draw/etc. because I have to. For awhile I thought, who says I have to? Why can't I just rest? Just stop for a bit? And then I realized that if I stop, I might not start again. I have to keep going. That's what I want. I just wish I knew when I'd enjoy it again.